I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
