Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
