The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
