so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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