Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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