WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
