I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You are a genius and a whore.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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