Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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