dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
