can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
