I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
