im gay
i know
yea but for you.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
