he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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