how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
