He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
