She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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