ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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