it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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