the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize