he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
