Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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