I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
