i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
