I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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