I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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