Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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