Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
