guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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