walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
