I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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