Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
