Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
