wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
