I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She's the barista slut.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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