Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize