i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
