Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize