yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
