Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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