You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
