Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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