Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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