My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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