So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
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this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
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Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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