i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
