The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
