singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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