Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
