before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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