I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just took my morning after pill in the library
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
