mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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