i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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