im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
