a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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