Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
