i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
