You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
