if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
