I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
