I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
