super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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