just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
