I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize