My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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